Some see marriage counseling as a desperate attempt to keep a marriage afloat, and one that just doesn’t work. Many compare it to putting a Band-Aid on a severe injury, or fixing a leaky faucet in a burning building. However, this is not always the case. Counseling can save your marriage in many different ways, and here are a few ways that it does.
It can Help Make Your Marriage Positive Again
One of the many reasons why your marriage could fail is because you may forget about the positive aspects of your relationship. It’s almost addictive to focus on negative experiences and emotions in your relationship, and while these (and other negative things) should be addressed, negativity is usually brought on by forgetting about the reasons why you got together in the first place. When there’s a problem in your relationship, you should try to look on the bright side, remember all the good, and attempt to fix problems rationally and constructively, rather than through constant arguments.
A marriage counselor can help by teaching you relationship skills that will help you reprioritize your relationship’s positive aspects, instead of only focusing on the negative. One of the therapeutic techniques they may use to help change your thought patterns is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT.
It can Help Determine Solutions to Marital Problems
Many marriages fail because of arguments and disagreements, and many couples feel like these are unsolvable. The truth is that many problems in a marriage can be address and resolved, but both parties aren’t willing to or fundamentally able to solve them together. Instead, they’re focused on who’s right, who’s wrong, and being in conflict with one another. Often, the answer to the argument or disagreement is a compromise, and a marriage counselor can help the couple realize that fighting is counterproductive and instead, help them work together to achieve a satisfactory solution in the most level-headed manner as possible.
You can Learn How to Communicate Better
Another reason why marriages fail is because communication is ineffective. There is often not enough communication, or miscommunication occurs. One partner may feel like they’ve communicated their point adequately, but their partner didn’t understand. The first partner then becomes angry because rather than realizing that their partner misunderstood them, they instead feel like they didn’t listen, and an argument ensues. Communication issues can be fixed through counseling. A marriage counselor, as a neutral third party, can help determine why you’re having such a difficult time communicating and guide the couple to work towards improved communication.
They can Address Problems Before They Grow Worse
Not everyone who attends marriage counseling is at rock bottom. There are healthy couples who choose to participate in therapy because they want to maintain their relationship as it is, or want to mitigate potential problems in the future. Just as some people exercise to maintain their physical health, a couple may go to counseling to keep their relationship strong. Often, conflict in marriage stems from a minor problem such as a quirk or bad habit, and if this is left unaddressed, it grows with time. A marriage counselor can identify and head off problems before they grow into something much worse. Even if your marriage is going well, going to counseling may be able to help you in the long run.
A Counselor can Make You Feel Young Again
Marriages can also falter with time because the passion and chemistry that were present at the beginning of the relationship are no longer there, or are hardly recognizable. While a couple that has been together for a long time isn’t going to be like they were at the start of their relationship, the passion should still be present. There may be many reasons why the fire has died out, and a marriage counselor can help you identify what they are, and help find ways to rekindle the romance.
If you’re having relationship issues, there is no shame in speaking to a marriage counselor in order to find the answers you need. Click the link below for more information on marriage counseling:
Marie Miguel has been a writing and research expert for nearly a decade, covering a variety of health- related topics. Currently, she is contributing to the expansion and growth of a free online mental health resource with BetterHelp.com. With an interest and dedication to addressing stigmas associated with mental health, she continues to specifically target subjects related to anxiety and depression.